No matter what’s happening in your life today, take time to ask the Lord to shine His light on you. Ask Him to confirm His plan for you. As you continue pursuing His truth and righteousness, as you continue to make His Word a priority in your life, you will experience more of His blessings. You’ll see those brighter days as you move forward in the good plan He has in store for you!
Coz I believe and will ALWAYS believe that Happiness is not a destination, its a JOURNEY. :))
My journey is still long. :))
The one who broke my heart is also the one who helped me pick the broken pieces to make it whole again.
As I woke up in my bed this morning glancing the sunshine on the window, still I can’t merely forget what happened last night. It was very memorable in a sense that it is really true that love can heal all wounds of the past with the great help of time.
After my Bio class I decided to watch Miss Lugait along with my cousins. First came into my mind was the thought that I might see him there, and I may felt the pain again. The pain and at the same time the love that is still there. Yeah. I saw him, I saw him first and it felt like again and again and again my stomach stumbles. Feels like I’m on a car chase, or riding in a roller coaster. My feet were trembling as I saw his eyes glanced on mine. I was like, oh dear Jesus how could he look at me that way. How could he smile like nothing happened. I really hated the feeling every time he looked at me, the way he observed how I looked back at him. He was like 2 meters away from me, we were very near to each other. I can feel the tremble in my feet after not seeing him for awhile. I was like I don’t know how to react in his actions. Then after the show, I waited for my cousin at the side of the sports complex and suddenly a guy tapped his cold hand on my shoulder that somehow caught my attention as he was saying.. “kumusta naman ka oy?laina kaau..” Yes. I was like Dear GOD, I waited for this very moment to come and I planned what should be the answer to his questions but at that time I just looked at his brown eyes saying.. “Okay ra kaayo ko oy! what do you expect?” HAHAHA My answer was a bit sarcastic, that time bitterness exploded all over my optimistic aura. He was so unsatisfied with my answers, I moved a bit forward away from him then turned back again and seriously talked to him.
When we talked, he asked me how was I’m dealing my life now that he’s not with me anymore. He even told me that I should be mature enough not to cry again coz that makes me so childish. I laughed and spanked him after telling me that, yes he was really close enough. Still he has that ability to tame me, and I hate him for that. After our talk he asked me for a ride going him with him, and you know what without any hesitant I seated on his back and it feels like the old days. I was holding his sides as the engine of his baby wave(the name of his motorcycle) started. Then the very serious conversation started as we reached the high way.
As I was holding him, the good old times that we had started to popped in. Memories, all. The good and bad were over taking on our way home. I just can’t believe the fact that the boy who was the reason why I felt so much pain is now the one driving me home holding my hands just like the old times. While heading home we stopped nearby the park and did some serious talk. I asked him about his doubts about our relationship and yes as he said the truth I was oh so satisfied with his answers. Telling me how much he loved me even though things got so complicated. We can foresee in each others’ eyes that the love in each other is still there. Like a rosebud, waiting for the right time to bloom. That night, we didn’t plan to win each others heart again but instead, we asked apologies to ourselves. As he was saying sorry and thank you all the bitterness in my soul vanished as I looked in his eyes. And for the first time in our serious conversation I didn’t shed even a single drop of tear. maybe because my heart was already ready for that moment, the moment that we could have the closure to forgive each other. He held my hand and looked my in the eyes, and I was so happy returning him the favor. I plainly said..”after sa tanang kasakit,kalipay,kasukomog kamahay btaw ton, napasaylu ra tika and happy ko na naka survive ko sa mga nabuhat nako sa akong kaugalingun. Daghan kau kog natun’an sa imu jd ton. Wala makabaylo sa tanang kalipay na nahatag nmu asa akoa.” He replied..” salamat kaayu sa tanan Kring, na napasaylo ko nmu. Kabalo btaw ka nga bsan pa sguro dili na kita, naa jd ky lugar permi sakong life og sakung kasing2..” It was like a line from a movie, then he suddenly ask a joke..”pwede pa mag kita og balik?”
"saba oy! HAHA amaw jd ka, for now let’s just be friends. Let’s be best friends. Ma appreciate na nako ky confident ko dri nga palangga ko nmu dba?"
He replied.. “ay ofcourse. :)”
that’s it after a moment of silent, he held my hand and start the engine and drive me back home. I hugged him tightly and said to myself that “LORD thank you for healing the wounds…now I’m confident enough to say that I can let him go. And whatever happens next, I’ll support him coz we already forgave each other.
So much to say, ing ana jd. Ang gugma nga nagpasakit sa akoa ky mao ra pod nga gugmang nag pa ayu sa akoa. SALAMAT LORD. :))
Now that we’re friends, wala na koi feelings sa iya as lover but now as Friend na jud. PRAISE YOU DEAR LORD. :))
Pag magaling sa LOVE, wala yang LABLAYP! hahaha.
Wow. Relate! :D
always a reblog
Page 12 of 365 days
Hello! Its been awhile since I wrote personal stuffs here. I’ve been busy doing school works particularly our Thesis Proposal and exams. Well thank God I was able to handle school stuffs responsibly now.
Actually I won’t be talking about things about school today. I woke up this morning with teary and painful eyes. Guess what? I did. Yeah. I stupidly cried last night. I know how stupid I am for crying about things that already broke my entire well being. I just can’t deny the the fact, oh no its not the fact..its the TRUTH. The truth how much I miss him. The truth how much I longed for him, the truth that says how much I STILL LOVE HIM. THE PAINFUL TRUTH THAT SAYING HE’S NOT COMING BACK TO ME ANYMORE.;(
As days pass by, without noticing its almost 3 months that I haven’t see him. Whenever his friends or my friends mention his name still it feels like a knife is stabbing my entire chest. A painful wound that keeps on bleeding until now. I don’t know what’s going on with me. Sometimes I do feel that I’m strong. I’m strong coz I did held myself and fought for myself. I’m strong coz I was able to live and continue my life even without him. But you know what? Part of this strong courage is slowly fading as time goes by. The force that kept me standing for weeks is slowly vanishing each time he pops in my mind. I don’t know why. I don’t even bother myself thinking of him and all the memories that we had but my oh so stupid heart is not listening. I can still think of him, cry because of him, my heart still waits for him even though I don’t want to. I just don’t know what to do.
But I know, deep in me. I can heal these wounds in my heart. The wounds in my soul, and the pains inside me. With the help of the people who never failed to love me, I know I can get over you. If not now, soon. I hope so.
A million words would not bring you back; I know because I’ve tried. Neither would a million tears; I know because I’ve cried.
I came to a point where I realized how lost I am. I was lost after losing him so badly. But though it ended dead as any shits in this world, it made me stronger. Strong enough to face the reality. The reality that the world is an everyday battle, what’s important is no matter how many times you lose in that battle you always have and you WILL ALWAYS HAVE THE spirit of standing up and courage to fight! :))
Yeah. Thanks for that. :)
I feel as though Rye reblogged this because it reminded her of me.